Something that I'm asked about often is relationships and love. I’m not going to lie I’m no expert but as this issue does come up in sessions quite frequently I have learnt a thing or two from spirit and if there is one thing I am sure of it is this; relationships work when you have two complete souls coming together to work together in life to grow and bring out the best in each other for the greater good of both. When you have an imbalance in a relationship where one soul completes another the relationship will not work. You are not a half seeking another half to complete you, you are complete, whole and enough just as you are.

If you are questioning AT ALL if the one you are with is the right one for you, 9 times out of 10 they are not the one.  Any hint of doubt or questions, any feelings of unrest is your intuition trying to get your attention to tell you that they are not the one. We get intuitive vibes all the time but we often choose to ignore them because change is hard. Instead we choose to rationalise away the disrespectful and hurtful behaviour, we ignore any unsettled feelings we have or whatever it may be that is right in front of us showing us that we should move on but we tend to justify or simply deny (sometimes on a subconscious level) what our intuition is clearly telling us rather than having faith and trust in ourselves, our intuition and the higher power that is gently guiding us. There are many underlying, unhealed or dormant soul issues that keep us in unhealthy relationships (or friendships for that matter) which contribute to our rationalisation that we should stay;

• Fear of or not wanting to be being alone

• Lack of self esteem resulting in a need for validation and security

• Staying for the children

• Caring what other people will think

• Financial insecurity 

• Lack of trust in who we are

I could go on but you get the idea.

The information that I get around this issue is that sometimes people outgrow each other, sometimes relationships, even marriages need to come to an end.  It is a really beautiful thing when couples can grow together, when during the course of their relationship they are able to embark on their spiritual path or healing journey separate but together both growing and evolving and learning while walking side by side.  But the reality is that quite often this  just doesn’t happen and this is when most often I see women struggle. There is a sense of guilt because they have grown, they have chosen the path to heal their issues and with that comes a new sense of awareness but also a gap in their relationship because their partner hasn’t grown alongside them and it becomes a big gaping hole that cannot be ignored.

There is no blame and there is no room for guilt either, as painful as this process can be it just is what it is. You must not dim your light for another either, once you’ve begun the path you simply cannot put yourself back in the box and pretend nothing has changed.  If you think about where you were emotionally and spiritually when you met your partner compared to where you are now I bet you can see a huge shift in yourself and possibly not so much with your partner. It is this shift in energy that causes the change in resonance with you both, it is this discord that you feel that makes it difficult to stay, almost physically uncomfortable and impossible to stay. You are no longer on the same page and you are literally vibrating at different levels of energy.

Spiritual vows and contract issues have come up in sessions many times with many clients and I’ve learnt that any vow or contract that we make in any lifetime can be incredibly limiting if not damaging to our souls on a spiritual level. As above so below so with this in mind whatever is happening to our soul and spirit on a spiritual level we feel and experience it at a physical level. So if this is causing us friction, torment or unrest on a spiritual level, we will live and experience it one way or another on a physical level.

I mean just think about being in your early 20’s, how well did you know your authentic self? Had you begun healing your soul and your spiritual journey? For the majority of us I’d say the answer would be no right? And yet there are many of us who made a spiritual vow of marriage promising to stay until death do you part without considering that you both may grow apart because at the time we are immersed in a bubble of love right? We need to reconsider how we do this because it seems that on a spiritual level we need an escape clause of some sort because I see too many women struggling in their marriages because they have taken the step towards personal and spiritual growth and empowerment and their significant other has not. 

Sometimes the very human things we do simply because it is the way things have always been done are the most harmful things we can do to our souls and our spirits and these things will not change until we are brave enough to follow the intuitive guidance we receive without question, without doubt, without worrying about everyone around us, without living a lie to protect someone or something but to just follow our intuition.  Living intuitively could lead you to immeasurable joy, peace and happiness; sure there may be bumps along the way, no spiritual growth comes without difficulties but only when we begin to live intuitively will we begin to live the life we were born to, only then will we become our authentic self.

The Buddhist’s say “if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that is not the one. When you meet your soul mate you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.” 

Anna x 

Ps. If you find yourself newly separated the intuitive guidance I get on this is that it is so important to focus on yourself and your own healing before focussing on a new relationship casual or otherwise.  Consider this; if you are feeling broken for want of a better word this is the energy you are putting out into the universe so this is the energy you will get in return if your intent at this time is to find a new love. You’ll find one but your energies will be of similar low vibration. So you may find yourself in a repeating pattern if you at some point focus on personal healing and growth and the other person doesn’t? Your vibrations again over time will be out of sync and no longer resonant. This is just one example of why healing and growth prior to starting something new is so important long term. There are exceptions of course, there are and have been couples who have grown and healed together and this is beautiful and it’s amazing but it is also rare.  In my opinion you’d benefit from taking the time you have for yourself while you can.