A session this week highlighted an issue that I feel is quite prevalent in society and as I work with women I see it in women so I’m speaking from the female perspective but I’m aware that men just as easily have this issue too.

My client has just escaped an emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage, a narcissist so subtle in his abusive ways she at times felt like she was going crazy but that’s the impact a narcissist has on you I guess. I first met this client a year ago but have worked with her regularly of late and I’m so impressed by her strength to get herself out and safe. Her session this week brought to the surface a chronic prop she has cultivated over time and it was connected to a need. Needing anything from other people is an issue whether it’s love, acceptance, recognition, approval, validation or even likes on social media. When we need something, anything at all from other people to feel enough we have an issue within ourselves that requires healing on a soul level.Healing our need for praise and recognition etc from others allows us to be able to recognise and validate our achievements without guilt or issue. Being able to give ourselves that pat on the back is the epitome of self love.

Loving oneself is enough, you don’t NEED it from anyone else. The minute you don’t NEED anything from anyone is precisely the moment in time that your self esteem is at a healthy level where you are able to be in a relationship where you will be able to give without expectation, give without needing anything in return which usually results in resentment because whatever it is you NEED isn’t reciprocated because our partners don’t have ESP (but I digress that's an issue for another post). It is in this moment that you are able to be in a healthy relationship because you don’t need someone to fill your cup for you, you can fill your own cup and have enough left over to share a life with another equally.

When you are in this state of awareness your relationships can be healthy because without neediness you take away an imbalance of power and control. I have found myself working with women who come to me with relationship issues but won’t leave because they believe that it is their purpose to heal their partner. I can promise you it is never your purpose to heal your partner because we are all responsible for our own healing. The only healthy relationships that include healing are the ones where you are both on your own healing journeys, working side by side in unison, not one healing the other but both healing yourselves and growing together. The moment you become aware that it is not your job to raise a partner, heal a partner or change a partner you allow yourself the pleasure and space to self heal, grow and be free and in turn you gift your partner with the same opportunity to embark on their own soul healing journey. 

If anything here resonates and you think you’d benefit from a session with me feel free to reach out for more information or a chat and begin the journey to Embrace Your Soul!

Anna x