“If you are in a unhealthy relationship you are not living the life you are meant to live, this is not your true life and you cannot fulfil your destiny if you are not living your true life.”

When this came through in a session it really gave me pause.

Can you imagine at the end of your life passing on to the next phase of lets call it “review” and while reviewing your life the powers that be are looking at you and asking why you didn’t fulfil your destiny? Why didn’t you live to your full potential with this life we gave you? Why didn’t you follow your path and your purpose? And the answer is something along the lines of; well I wanted to be with this person who I can see was toxic for me, who led me astray, who controlled me, who abused me, who manipulated me or who completed me.

Unhealthy relationships cause damage on a holistic level

I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it from this perspective but it makes sense. Any unhealthy relationship steers you off path because you stop living your life and start living a life not meant for you. It begins to be a life that someone else orchestrates for you because we are usually in it because we lack our sense of self, we don’t know who we are and so we search for someone to complete us. I think this is also why the phenomena ‘twin soul’ is a little dangerous, I feel it gives some people permission to spend their life searching for their ‘twin soul’ but I digress.

What we don’t often realise is that unhealthy relationships are disempowering because we are relying on someone else to complete us we are literally handing over our power so that they can do whatever they can to make us feel whole.  The saddest part of it all is that no one will ever make you whole. We become whole by knowing who we are, knowing what we believe in, healing our soul issues, walking a spiritual path and trusting our own intuition to guide us. 

“Sometimes it is the snake we need to shed not our skin”

Knowing you are in a unhealthy relationship and staying put is a dangerous move on many levels. There are the obvious concerns that you could be putting yourself in considerable physical danger but there are also mental, emotional and spiritual effects. I like to think of it this way, being in a unhealthy relationship is like living with a snake, you can go and get the anti venom to survive (healing) but you’ll keep getting bitten and eventually, you’ll be just as toxic as the snake.

My work has also shown me that there is no love in a unhealthy relationship because until you can love yourself you can’t love another. It may feel like it, but it is often a false sense of security that you love not the individual, it could be how being with them makes you feel (or think you feel) that you love (sometimes) but it is this security and strong sense of self that we must find within ourselves before we embark on a relationship. 

When we make choices for ourselves that take us off path and steer us away from our destiny we fall at a spiritual level and karmically that means there is a lot of redeeming to be done to get back on track. 

I’ve learned that when we are struggling to maintain our true self or we are in a relationship due to fear (either our fear of being alone or fear of being hurt if we leave) there is an issue behind it, some sort of old issue, pattern or past life remnant that is influencing our conscious behaviour and once this energy is cleared it is much easier to trust yourself and live a life of your truth.